A swingable swordstaff head or glaive head will generally one hit anything with a speed bonus, not unlike 2H swords or axes, but they also sport better speed to reach than those two. Do agree that thrust-only polearms are a waste of time. Lances with skewer are awesome.
RBM Combat does make things quite interesting, but it also makes armor a lot stronger, sword cuts become really weak at the start and against high armor enemies, favoring blunt, spears become more useful, maybe its a mod conflict but couched spears do very little damage for me.
I highly recommend opening the base game, Mount and Blade: Warband, and playing the tutorial there. The mechanics of melee based combat do not change in Napoleonic Wars. Melee combat is easier in third person mode as it gives you a better view of the area and lets you see if someone is sneaking up behind you (hit 'R' to change mode).
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